Year-end again—time to write the yearly recap. I hope I can keep this habit.

Tech

First half I mostly fumbled through Kubernetes and KubeEdge for my thesis; after the thesis I tinkered with a Misskey instance and the blog (Misskey shut in July, blog moved to Notion…). In May I applied for Open Source Summer, got in, and worked on the project over summer—at home efficiency was so-so; I was nervous about the biweekly syncs. After school started I kept going, and eventually it shipped. Looking back at the write-up it felt “this was easy—why did it take so long, dumb…” Sometimes I wish someone could mentor me instead of solo exploration—maybe I’d improve faster and spot issues sooner. But grinding alone is also learning; slow but you build muscle—let’s see how far I can go.

From July through maybe November I was buried in OSPP (I’m too green, sorry…). After that I peeked at other OSS (Volcano, etc.). shrik3 pointed me to Quark Container—issues get quick replies. I watched LFX and CNCF videos and liked them, so I picked up some Rust hoping to contribute soon.

Some things I know are “good to do,” but timing matters—doing them at the wrong time can hurt, so I postponed some learning to keep the stack more systematic.

Next year I’ll keep contributing to Sedna and aim to be someone who can /lgtm alone (one more approver and we merge). New threads in KubeEdge… things I want in Quark Container… eBPF too… I probably shouldn’t add more projects—already too many. Keep pushing.

I’ve always had a tendency to obsess. Freshman and sophomore years I stopped myself because I wasn’t sure that path was mine—afraid to go deep. Now I feel I can obsess because I chose this road. But I don’t know if I still can…

Life, social, feelings

One night in January I couldn’t sleep over “failing” socially, decided to say yes to more—after that basically didn’t refuse. Breaks: elementary school reunion, mahjong with high school friends. After term started I stayed in touch with Beijing high school friends—went to Yonghe Temple with wzy to give thanks, night ride on Chang’an Avenue, birthday for wzy, mahjong. Graduation photos with roommates. Summer eleven of us watched Your Name (quite a crew…). Being in crowds helped me see my place a little and what “fitting in” should mean. Met 阿鸟 in person first half—so happy! 🐱 Hope to meet more online friends next year if I can. Old habit: passivity—working on it. If January was a fail on social, year-end me is maybe 55 (? still fail but passing feels close XD) because I still don’t know how to start relationships…

September I got closer to someone I’d known, meals and outings a few times; after feeling sidelined I confessed and got the expected no. Felt down awhile, then stabilized. Very different person—learned something; thanks for crossing paths. October back home I vented a lot to friends—thanks for listening. I couldn’t handle the emotions alone, so I asked for help.

What I learned: don’t people-please—just be you.

This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Also don’t rush into a “role”…

November couldn’t sleep again over not knowing how to connect with people—decided to change. Building relationships (making friends) is a skill; if I don’t practice now, thirty won’t magically fix it—so I’ll reach out sincerely.

I still want trust built from small moments over time—and I still believe that exists.

Books, film, music, anime

New Year’s with mom we saw YOLO—mom enjoyed it, that’s what mattered.

First half: Jujutsu Kaisen, Frieren, Haikyu!!: Battle of the Garbage Dump in theater, Ryuichi Sakamoto | Opus, The Boy and the Heron with wzy. On laptop: Robot Dreams. Summer with zsh and dlh: Poetic Dance (zsh’s pick)—I slept through most, first time dozing in a theater; skipped nap plus the film was boring, honestly.

First half blur without notes; second half I wrote a separate post—mostly that list. Now watching 2006 Fate/stay night; tons more I want.

Songs I used to dislike suddenly work—probably tied to opening up; good thing. November I binged Ringo Sheena hard. NetEase year-in-review was Kuroki Nagisa three years straight—I know next year it’ll be Ringo.

Didn’t read much—Amusing Ourselves to Death, Hathaway’s Flash—that’s about it. Fine: less theory, more doing.

Gadgets

October mom bought me a desktop—thanks, mom. Arch on it, RTX 4070 Ti Super running SD3. Debated Windows on desktop + Arch on laptop for portability and games, but reinstalling envs is such pain—probably won’t (but probably still will…)…

Year-end I bought a “lazy cat” home server with OSPP stipend—planned to move notes/blog off Notion and save subscription money, but migration was hell so I quit (failed to save money…). Now it’s file storage and seeding—trying to “earn back” via apps :( Even shiny products show flaws up close. The hardware is impressive; I have to admit I’m not the target user—regret the purchase.

In the end

That’s the year. Hope next year I keep growing—observe a little closer, go a little deeper: into tech, into people, into the world.